Wednesday, August 14, 2019

I can't say goodbye today

I can't say goodbye today.
You are my hero and my light
my way to raise children and my nymph in the field.
You are my muse, my flower, my daisy chain;

Your smile resides in my laughter, your strong eyes
reflect in Estonian pools
Where your mother still sings
Your hair swings down my back every day and your heart bashes
up against mine wherever you are.

You are my mother, my aunt, my honor and my truth,
Chugging at my lines and holding my everything in your lips
with your loves who are my loves
your history which is my history
your past, which is my past.

I can't say goodbye today,
Can't look at your face and face you
I hold tight-so-tight to your beauty
I want to absorb everything you and put it in my cubby box
Where you will be safe, no departing, no more loss

I can't say goodbye tomorrow either
just forget it.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

The Horrorcane

The horrorcane has cows with long horns in it
Vampires with their eyes drawing you into them. Step close mesmerized,
Swept up and dashed to the rocks
So the monsters can lap up your blood.

The horrorcane has motorhomes too
They are full of clowns, some are Pennywise
Smiling with balloons, grins and teeth but more are little,
Dolls, kinda Chuckie-like in demeanor, butcher knives in cute little hands.

The horrorcane is around the corner
The carpet has checkers, some maroon to match the dried blood
Where your name is written with the raven’s quill
Squeaky wheels heard above the din of angry voices laughing.

The horrorcane has tall ships swirling
A pirate with a guillotine has no control where the blade slips
The cost can be a finger or two, maybe a head
The sails wildly conceal green things unknown but stingy

The horrorcane twists in fury
Un-deliberately comes just for you
No waiting, the only question is what will fall on you
A whale? A bus? A dead superhero? A clue?

Tuesday, September 18, 2018


I have none.
This heart just wants to deal with it and move on
I don't know how to wait
when the heart is learning
somebody is hurting.

Why why
not to break people,
not to spill the redness that is heaven
into the night sky that is still so still
and no patience will do
only fixing
the broken
the sad.

Monday, July 30, 2018

How to deal with an angsty teenager

Schedule time with your teen

Take him for drive, show him the banks of time.
Make him think about all the things,
Once a week, run with him, flee the bullets of anger and regret.
Do the chores, visit the store, buy things,
Things can always make him happy, right?

Set a sleep routine

Teens need that extra 24 hours of sleep
So when he wakes at noon, praise him
When you wake at 3 in the morning and there he sits at the screen,
Don't hesitate to use that brick to help him sleep
Maybe a little witch hazel in his tea.

Quiet time, darkness, screens off, early naps
Its good for them to to lay awake forever stewing in their brains
Concocting dark thoughts, thinking death in their beds
Make them this and make them that - recreate
Lost in the night.

Get moving

Exercise - hand him his earbuds and kick him out the door
Maybe he will run, or play basketball
He won't go to the nearest playground and lean against the walls
Better yet, go with him for walks
That way the other teens can see the proud parent
Getting happy exercise together.

Listen don't lecture

Prize out those stories and thoughts
What does he want from life and
When the answer is cars, girls, drugs
Don't laugh. Don't tell him that's the way to Hell
or untimely death.
Oh, and don't hate his music, dance to it instead.

Keep your cool

When you want to yell, don't
When you want to scold, don't
When you need to smack, hit the wall
Walk the dark street as he doesn't sleep
Keep the bugs and demons away.

Silly people

Just love him, hold on to him, message him in his own language,
cross your fingers and grab the bar for the whole roller coaster ride.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Public Default

Turn in turn again
So hard to be a woman,
expectations that put a burden of silence
a quiet pall of whistles, touches, looks.

Harder to be a man
in changing times,
not to know what's acceptable
What does "no" mean?
why the prosecution for something
once only thoughtless and common?

Harder to be a woman
with babies on the breast
so judged by other women
for everything we do. We are harsher
then men to each other.
Because we have higher expectations.

Harder to be a man
growing up to be a man tough or
growing up to be a man gentle.
This is more confusing, wrapped in expectation
where there is a world here and across the way another world.

The twistflower of the world signals only change
as always
what is right becomes wrong, what is wrong become right
in the blink of Buddha's eye.


Friday, November 17, 2017


Sunrise surrounds me
I am the center of the world.
Following the ridges of sleep rising with the light and eluding me
Where ever I may drive.
I always look for the ocean
But it is a rare find in New Mexico, where the sunsets and sunrises also look
for the foamy and the brave.
Sunrise a little while, then the white and grey.
Drive drive drive away away.

Thursday, November 02, 2017

A dance of crows

Rising from the road, 

from the death and the pieces of meat that lay from the tires and from the cars,

are the crows.

Their quiet elegance is forgotten,

the beauty of the black wings spread is ignored

but they always escape

they always swoosh and rise and spread in the unrelenting desert sun

amongst the dry wheat-colored grass

into the hunter-green specked hills over the mesas

across the cliffs.

The crows are forgotten,

pieces of night crossing the day

windows into another reality

black specks

massive and tiny.